I want to be loved despite
the rumpled sheets I have become-
the mouth that spills sarcasm
like venom and snaps more
than ever before and eyes
made sullen from holding behind
them one too many secrets
and shames
and remember-his-names
and friends who fucked me over
and lovers who pulled me around
by my neck
or heart.
I want to be loved despite
the people I am starting to hurt
for no good reason but my
selfishness
or pain
and the independence
I wear like a shield.
I want to be loved despite
the size of my jeans
or bra
and my love of horrible
b- science fiction
and heels that I am
only going to complain about
hurting my feet
and my tendency toward
crippling insecurity or conceit-
my lack of a middle ground
all the things that
I have found
unlovable.

“despite”- jessicagadziala

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