upon closer inspection
there is joy
constricted like a vine
in a grip of fear
like if it ended
there is nothing left
to hold dear
so you should just forget
the sun ever shone
or that love ever
wrapped me in arms
heavy with longing.

there is grief
so strong it shakes
like continental shifts
dividing what is now
from what once was
and I have to rebuild
a life on foreign soil
growing seeds from tears
making a bed of
failure and wrap myself
in dreams fallen to pieces
to keep me warm at night.

there is bitterness
worn like a bullet proof
vest to keep new pain
and it poisons the
well of potential
before anything has a
chance to ever thrive
or even stay alive.

and there is the rage
often rising up in
violent waves
and being pulled back
like some times the
moon has too much
and maybe my memories
have too much to say
and I refuse to listen.

“upon closer inspection”- jessicagadziala


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