I want to write something upbeat
about moving on and how it feels
how it aches but eases
as everyhing heals-
how it sounds quietly sad, yet hopeful
like hymns sung by a solemn choir-
and that miserable wretch was me
and who I allowed myself to be-
but sometimes the hope feels forced
and the smile hides more pain than expresses joy
and its amazing how such an
incredible woman can be
brought down by the memory of a boy
trying hard to wear the clothes
of a man but falling short
at every turn that jumped in his way
and how careless he cast her aside
with a few short written words that day-
and there were tears and blood and fear and horrible things
but survival forces us to try to cleave to the positive things.
So I will write something upbeat
about moving on and how it feels
to force yourself to believe that
there is only a dull ache and that
everything (even broken hearts) heal
and that it sounds like a hymn sung quietly
instead of like worlds falling apart
and walls being built stronger
around the heart.
But I will write something upbeat
about moving on…

“about moving on” -jessicagadziala

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