Painful Red Reminders

I swear this razor only begs
to kiss my skin
on nights like this
too long and lonely and
overflowing with thoughts of him-
though the “him” has changed
three times in two years
I can count the disappointment
in scars instead of
days or weeks or months anymore-
and I guess it is an evolution
of sorts-
I have a bottle of pills hidden
in a shoe under my bed and I haven’t
looked at it like an option
(a final end)
since that first one chose
other arms to fall into and leaving
me with his goodbye, his memory
and his habit of finding relief in
the form of sharpened objects
and painful red reminders.

“Painful Red Reminders”- 11-25-13- jessicagadziala

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