breakups

I could be stalwart- standing strong
with a heart numbed from necessity or
a puddle of pain on the floor.
And breakups always seem to happen to me
when I need support the most-
when my walls are pushing in- and I cant breathe.
when my foundations are crumbling- and I have
nothing to grab hold of to keep my on my feet.
when my nerves are shot- and I dont even have time to cry it out.
But maybe I didn’t need him so much as I needed
a chest to finally rest on-
still the absence stings like February air on
exposed skin and there isn’t the hope
of a thaw in sight.
But maybe one day someone will love me enough-
hold me tight enough to help keep all these
pieces together- and ward off this chill
because this has been the longest winter of
my life and I am losing sight of warmer weather.

“breakups”- 2-25-14- jessicagadziala

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