maybe she can love you better
since she learned as a child
that men
were a safe place to land
because her daddy hung the moon
while mine was too busy looking
for messages at the bottom of
empty bottles and
passing out with me and my sister
on a boat
when we were one and two years old-
and he let us go without a fight-
and hasn’t seen us since-
maybe I learned that men were
raging rivers
and if I wasn’t a strong swimmer-
I would sink and never be seen again-
so I learned to always swim away.
Maybe I cant trust you
because you have eyes like his
and your hands look so strong
but I’m sure that they will
always reach for something
more important than me-
so maybe she can love you better
like you put the stars in the sky
because I am always too busy trying
to keep my head above water
to see that you drew my name
in constellations.

“constellations”- 6-21-14-jessicagadziala


You needed a website to tell you
we are an 82% match before you
decided you missed me and how
you could always fold me up
and keep me in your pocket-
and could reach for me whenever
it was convenient-
when you needed a soft place to land-
and then put me away for weeks-
and the silence in between hung as
heavy drapes over my self-esttem until
there was nothing left.
and I find myself lucky that
in thirteen long months we never
posed for silly pictures because
no one hangs heartbreak on their walls-
but I can laugh at how you describe
yourself and passive-aggressively
mention me in your profile
like you were the one always
bending over backward
like you were the victim
but yes, “fancy seeing you here”,
but there is a boy with a smile
that isn’t always condescending
and he likes my book collection
and doesn’t think that
the rabbit hutch I built is crooked

and he is an 83% match.