zzzzz (2)  INTO THE GREEN is the first in my new teen fantasy series. Available for free until midnight on your kindle or kindle app.


Cece finds her life uprooted, forced to attend a new school full of strange, new-agey teenagers and inattentive teachers. Despite feeling out of place, she forms a strong bond with her new roommate Jade.

But when Jade suddenly goes missing, and school officials seem unconcerned, she decides to take matters into her own hands.

She quickly finds herself trapped with the condescending and insufferable Jasper and the aloof and charming Doyle as the venture into some strange realm known as the green to find the missing Jade who, as it turns out, was actually not quite human afterall.

Days Off?

So on this second novel, I have written about 56,000 words with little worry… this story has just been flowing out of me. I barely started it two weeks ago and I am more than 2/3rd of the way done.

But today and yesterday, I haven’t been able to get out more than 1,000 words. Part of me feels like I’m entitled to a day or two off, but the other part knows that at any “real” job… I would need to be there and producing work no matter what. I am trying my best to get out of the “artist mindset” and remember that above all else, writing is a profession to me and I cant allow imagined ideas such as “writer’s block” to get in my way.

So in the interest of being a good employee(?) … I am going to sit my butt down at get out a couple thousand words before bed. (Did I mention it’s already after 11:30 at night?) Eek.

Anyone who thinks being a writer is easy is just plain wrong.



maybe she can love you better
since she learned as a child
that men
were a safe place to land
because her daddy hung the moon
while mine was too busy looking
for messages at the bottom of
empty bottles and
passing out with me and my sister
on a boat
when we were one and two years old-
and he let us go without a fight-
and hasn’t seen us since-
maybe I learned that men were
raging rivers
and if I wasn’t a strong swimmer-
I would sink and never be seen again-
so I learned to always swim away.
Maybe I cant trust you
because you have eyes like his
and your hands look so strong
but I’m sure that they will
always reach for something
more important than me-
so maybe she can love you better
like you put the stars in the sky
because I am always too busy trying
to keep my head above water
to see that you drew my name
in constellations.

“constellations”- 6-21-14-jessicagadziala


You needed a website to tell you
we are an 82% match before you
decided you missed me and how
you could always fold me up
and keep me in your pocket-
and could reach for me whenever
it was convenient-
when you needed a soft place to land-
and then put me away for weeks-
and the silence in between hung as
heavy drapes over my self-esttem until
there was nothing left.
and I find myself lucky that
in thirteen long months we never
posed for silly pictures because
no one hangs heartbreak on their walls-
but I can laugh at how you describe
yourself and passive-aggressively
mention me in your profile
like you were the one always
bending over backward
like you were the victim
but yes, “fancy seeing you here”,
but there is a boy with a smile
that isn’t always condescending
and he likes my book collection
and doesn’t think that
the rabbit hutch I built is crooked

and he is an 83% match.


Sunday Morning


There are still three places
that make your face pop into my
mind unexpectedly like those gunshots
on my street when I was falling asleep that night-
and there are thirty scars on my skin-
twenty-five of them bear your name-
he other five are called “what made
you think you could ride on two wheels
when you can barely walk on two feet?”-
and that breakup song still stings when
it catches me alone and too tired to
pretend three years puts enough space
between the heartbreak and the
concept of closure-
I can seek to cover the feeling of your
hands on my skin with other men who
couldn’t tell you how I take my coffee
or why romantic movies make me cry-
but you’re always there-
in the wanting
the friction
the pleasure
and the regret-
and you’re always there in the
absence of “I love yous” and
the feeling of security
that I buried in you.

“Sunday Morning (Coffee Confessions)”- 5-4-14- jessicagadziala



Maybe I should move to New Orleans-
get swept away in the erratic
inconsistency of fevered jazz
music on the street-
make reckless love in the
hazy summer heat with a man who
keeps a talisman above his bed
and wake up to him playing a slow
lazy song on the harmonica, perched
in the open window to the fire escape
with a cup of black coffee by his
bare feet and sweat already trickling down his neck-
maybe I just need a new town-
a new hand to hold-
converse with new faces
I’ll never see again on Bourbon Street-
instead of seeing your friends everywhere I turn-
maybe I need to drink gin straight from the bottle-
instead of apple-flavored beer-
gather and cheer at the Krewe du Vieux-
and never step foot in a movie theater again-
eat beignets until they replace
the times we got sushi down by the shore-
maybe I need to run away from
bittersweet memories of you and me-
replace all the things
that once were for all the things
that could be-

“New Orleans”-4-28-14-jessicagadziala